Done

Free as a bird.

almost.

After being sleep deprived for weeks and completely sleepless for the last stretch of two days before hand in, my body was about to give up on itself. I had no proper food sans for chocolates and cereal to keep me alive, (there was just zero time to think about cooking food or doing anything else other than completing my portfolio), and my heart just kept fluttering like a dying moth out of anxiety and taurine overdose from the cans of monster that i've been drowning my sorrows in.

So you can imagine when I handed in and went home, I passed out for thirteen hours straight on my bed much to the bemusement of my housemate who tried to guess the time I would wake up from my 'nap'. I missed all hand-in celebrations and the staff party at the beach, and was bombarded with miscalls and messages from people who were worried that I might have been chewed up and regurgitated by the printer at uni. 

This is the sad and classic case of architecture students who put their work before their life. 

Yet, all in all I am happy and proud that amidst the madness I managed to stay miraculously sane and calm and just drew like my life depended on it up to the end. Even when the printer at uni was hating me and not spitting out my prints an hour before the deadline, I surprisingly did not crumple up into a mess or shout at anyone despite being so worked up and tense from being awake for far too long.

Can't say I'm proud of the outcome of my work though, which is a shame because I thought I was doing somewhat alright throughout the year... until the last three weeks prior to hand in when everything just fell like a boulder from the sky onto my head. But.. what's done is done and I have put as much effort as I could into my work. 

If i get through with this project, I will be over the moon but if not, hey-ho.

I've fallen before and picked myself up again, so I don't see why I, or anyone else can't do the same. :)

Today is day 2 of my freedom, and I am still recuperating by being the ultimate slug and pig. 

There is an odd sense of loss and confusion, probably due to the sudden freedom after long term stress build up. For now I'm not fussed or worried, as I'm going to allow myself to sloth away until i get bored (which won't take too long), and then start my plans for the summer time. 

mini hiatus

I've got three weeks to pull my socks up and get this shizzle under control.

I can do this.

May angels lead you in

Dearest Kem,

It's been so many years since our college days in INTEC. 

We have all carried on with our lives since then, only to come across rare moments on Facebook when we would cross paths. Sometimes, when I'm lucky to be reunited with some of our college friends, we would reminisce about the past, and wondered what everyone was doing with their lives. 

You were one of the few who would crack us up when we were struggling to keep awake in class. There was so much life in your personality. I remember sitting in front of you, and constantly turning to the back to have a little chatter about everything under the sun, from further math problems to celebrity gossip. Funny enough, I have a memory of you nodding off during our English presentation from where I was standing.

You were one of the first few that I warmed up to during my difficult time of adjustment. 

I can still hear your comical voice.

 Perhaps more vivid today that I've learnt about your passing. 

Rest in peace Kem.

May angels look after you where you are now.

Perspective

The Brighton Marathon took place yesterday while I was at work and honestly it was by far one of the worst shifts I've ever done. Crowds were just streaming into the restaurant non stop and at one point I just felt terribly claustrophobic and agoraphobic all at once. It was finally beautiful and warm outside but inside the stuffy and crowded premise we just started getting terribly exhausted and snappy from the heat. Tension was flying everywhere: in the kitchen, amongst us waitresses, between us and the customers... 

I don't know how the other girls managed to last until closing time but having woken up at 6.30am to get to work by 9 due to suspended bus services and road closures, I couldn't be happier to get out of there at 7pm. Blame the marathon, I thought. For all this chaos. 

Then today the Boston Marathon made unfortunate headlines with three blasts that killed two people and injured countless of runners at the finish line. Runners who took part to raise funds for charity, and spectators who were out there to support them. Suddenly all my frustration from yesterday shrank into the smallest, pettiest thing in the world. Chaos? Amidst the sea of people that made me want to pull all my hair out, I was at least safe amongst enthusiasts who were just out there to enjoy the day. The 10,000 runners made it to the finish line with nothing more than just bad cramps as the worst case scenario. 

It's sad that by human nature we don't realise the magnitude of life's luxuries until we lose it.

It's also sad that sometimes we only see things in perspective out of other people's expense. 

This will be a reminder for me to count my blessings and push aside the smaller issues in life.

My heart goes out to those affected by the Boston marathon. 

One more hurdle left!

Printed and bound :)

Finished cover sleeve for my thesis this year! 

Overall I'm pretty happy with what I've done. :) Mostly because I've managed to put this together with ample time to go before the hand in-- something that HARDLY ever happens to me due to my topsy turvy schedule coupled with the inability to work quickly unless I'm under pressure! Usually I'm still typing out the last sentence or throwing abuse at my printer at 7am with bloodshot eyes and shaky coffee-fuelled hands (Hand in is at 11am, mind you ;) )

So one hurdle down, one more to go. Whether someone else is going to understand my writing, that's another story!